Dammit Chloe!

What's up, everyone? I'm Kevin, the new contributer to this wonderful blog.  I figured what better time to start posting than after another solid episode of "24." After a subpar season six, the show is back and better than ever for the seventh season. Here are my thoughts so far:

1. The women of "24," with Chloe being the one exception, are royal screw-ups. Save for Chloe, as well as Prime Minister Matobo's wife, who redeemed herself after shamefully opening the safe-room door, the rest of the ladies have really struggled in the opening hours. Let's start with enemy number one, FBI Agent Renee Walker.  

Agent Walker thought she could get away bothering Jack Bauer with rules and protocols. Big mistake. She's come close to jeopardizing every aspect of the mission to get evil Colonel Dubaku and should have been left buried alive so she could do no more harm. It was nice to see a newly-bearded Bill Buchanan tell her how it is and it was also nice to see Jack rub it in her face that he was right and she will always be wrong. To quote Ivan Drago, "If she dies, she dies."

Next up is President Allison Taylor. She's done nothing but remain stubborn and let Dubaku crash planes. Way to go. David Palmer would have solved this crisis in no more than an hour. She's on the brink of tears every 20 minutes and now some poor town in Ohio is going to be destroyed. Come on, Madam President. If Tommy Callahan can save a town in Ohio from going under, so can you. 

2. The Roger Taylor storyline is awful. There's been no point to it until around the 1:45 mark when Ethan (Warden Norton) needed to reach a paralyzed Taylor. Taylor, to his credit, managed to save himself from being killed by a pesky Secret Service agent.  Still, his death and the death of this storyline would be tremendous for everyone involved. Though judging from the previews for next week's episode, upon hearing of the news that her husband is missing, President Taylor cries again. 

3. Billy Walsh...in a suit? Yep, FBI Agent Sean Hillinger (Billy Walsh) is all clean-cut and ready for legitimate work, which leaves a sour taste in my mouth. After all, Billy Walsh once wore a shirt that read "SUITS SUCK." At least Warden Norton is consistently evil. If Walsh can get into more arguments with Agent Moss that lead to the two of them fighting in front of everyone, then the show would be even better.

So those are my major thoughts so far. Overall I've been pleased with this season, and it looks like it's only going to get better. I'll be back every Monday with a "24" recap and some thoughts, so keep checking back.

...And Big Brother Said "Ref, Are you Blind?!"

This past weekend, meaning from Friday Night to Sunday's Conference Championship until Today's Bruin's game, I think that Officials need to be re-educated, and in a large way. Let's start at where I think the conspiracy began. Friday night I went to my friend Sully's house to hang out, watch some hockey, have a beer or two, and play some of ESPN's 21st Century Trivia game. I was pleased. There are many questions ranging from rookie to all-star and were centered around many sports and statistics. Overall, a good time. Until, (and here it comes) I came upon the question that asked "True of False: MLB Umpires are not required to have an annual eye exam?". The answer, to my dismay, was True. Now, reading back the question and answer, I'd imagine your face must look like mine when I read it too.

So I'm okay after this. This probably is just something that the Umpires contracts has in it. I figure, I'll go home and forget this. Maybe the umpires don't eye exams every year. Maybe it's every other year. Who knows?

Fast forward to Travis Reed's house where we watch the Cardinals beat the Eagles, the Steelers beat the Ravens, and Willis McGahee almost die. The play was Flacco passing to McGahee and Steelers Ryan Clark runs into McGahee, HELMET FIRST! That's a link to the video. For those of you that don't know, helmet to helmet collisions are illegal, if done intentionally, and also hurt for a long time. Helmet to Helmet's have ended careers. Ask Bill Romanowski about that one. Everyone in the city of Pittsburgh saw and heard the hit because neither of the players moved for 3 minutes. I think the point that I didn't like was when I heard Jim Nantz-y pants and Phil Simms say it was a legal. shoulder block, but most of all there wasn't a single flag or official call for something that was done intentionally. There are rules and regulations for this kind of thing for a reason. That Steelers-Ravens game was the worst. It was just cheap shot after cheap shot, regardless of whether it was done in front of the refs or not. If I were the Commissioner, I'd fine Ryan Clark for the hit and suspend him from the Super Bowl for such a hit. If McGahee were to die in his condition, which as of a few minutes ago was "movement in his legs and arms, but neurologically intact", I'd suspend Clark until further notice. Plays and hits like that, those effects have no place on the field.

Now sitting on the couch today, I see that the Bruins are playing the St. Louis Blues in the afternoon. Great! I can watch them. The score was 2-1 Blues when I came into the game. But after some great goals by Ryder, Wideman and Chara, the Blues score another goal to make it 4-3 Bruins with about a minute left. The Blues skate up the ice and score a goal but slapping it in, but the puck was above the crossbar when Backes hit it in the goal. My first thought is - what the hell does that mean? Thanks to Jack Edwards and Andy Brickley who said "If the puck is above the cross bar when there is contact made - No goal". Hmm, simple enough. Then the referee will look at the replay and there will be conclusive evidence against it. But what happened? The puck, which is clearly above the cross bar at about the 4 minute mark of this highlights video, is called a goal. This puzzles me because I would think the NHL would not like controversy since it's coming off a very memorable Lockout.

This is the point in my blog where I become a Jack-the-Ripper of ranting. Being a life-long sports fan, I think every sports provider needs to learn two words and two words quick: Tim Donaghy. Remember him? He's the one that fixed the outcome of NBA games to support his gambling habit. Now imagine that there isn't just a Donaghy in the NBA, but in the NHL, NFL, and MLB. Imagine a world where people aren't picketing institutions of government, but are outside of the city stadium, boycotting the sporting events because the outcomes are fixed by officials who need to get paid by their bookie. Where are the government moles? Where are the people that are stopping the fraud that goes on the field? With cameras, sensors, and technology that is available, there is no need for the referee. The referee is the obsolete job of tomorrow. That guy that sits in a high chair at Wimbledon can come down because we don't need him. He's just a human element that distracts the real outcome.

Remember the ref who, to this day, still says that Brett Hull's foot wasn't in the crease in the 1999 Stanley Cup? Didn't that determine the outcome of the winner?

How about Maradona's "Hand of God" in the 1986 World Cup?

And then again in 2007 with Lionel Messi.....

It seems like the only thing that we need officials for is breaking up fights. Their not even that good at doing that. We are in the 21st Century with televisions that can show me a blackhead on Jessica Alba's immaculate face, phones that can turn silent when I walk into a certain area, and cameras that can shoot 1000 frames a second. I think its time we replace the officials with things that can do the job for them without having to take eye exams, without having to worry about whether they are addicted gamblers, and without having to worry about their health after pissing off so many fans. If we can have Big Brother watching every move we make as a society, why not have him watch where it counts?

2009 Prediction by Sheehan

Okay, so I've made a list of things that will happen in the year 2009. Some are just there because of hilarity, some are there because they will indeed happen. I'll let you decide which is which.

1. Barack Obama will be criticized by black people all over the nation when they find out he has no intentions of putting rims on the new Presidential vehicle.
2. The Celtics will win another NBA Championship against the Los Angeles Lakers, prompting Bob Ryan and Dan Shaughnessy to take witchcraft lessons to see if they can put some sort of spell on another Boston team.
3. The Boston Bruins will make the playoffs. The Boston Bruins will also make NESN's list of teams that New Englanders paid attention to more than the Revolution.
4. Blagojovich, however you spell it, will be homeless man of the year, after people realize he sold his house to be the front runner of the Senate seat giveaway.
5. Plaxico Burress will go to jail for 3 years minimum after gun charges filed against him. Marivn Harrison will have 2 years of probation and 1 year of jail time for the shooting outside of his house. Cinco Ocho will pay a heafty fine for copyrighting the name of a meal at Ixtapa Cantina. Thus, Randy Moss will become the nicest shit-talking wide receiver in the NFL.
6. Tiger Woods will return and begin to play golf like the champion he is, but people will start to worry about Phil Mickelson's health since he still isn't winning championships without Tiger there.
7. NASCAR attendance will slide tremendously once everyone below the Mason-Dixon line has lost their house to one of the many bankrupcies.
8. A bank will fail everyday until someone comes up with the name "Piggy Bank" for a company, thus bringing people someplace they can really trust their money.
9. A Lifetime movie will be about the Palins' starring Tina Fey as Sarah, Evan Rachel Wood as Bristol, and Edward Furlong as esteemed redneck boyfriend/hockey washup Levi Johnston. Ratings will sky-rocket.
10. Scientology will continue to be on everyone's mind in 2009 once the real Tom Cruise shows up and kills the fake robot one, saying that he's beein the Andes Mountains for 10 years and hopes to be making good movies once again.
11. John Travolta's life will become more ironic since the song of the movie that made him famous was 'Staying Alive'.
12. NEWS ALERT: Mississippi has the highest teen birth rate and obese rate. MY PREDICTION: Ground zero for the next wave of hurricanes.
13. Apple Stocks will plummet once people start being reasonable and come to the conclusion that they just paid $500 more for something that was $100. Also, Steve Jobs will disappear from the media for about 6-8 months and will return looking like Sith Lord from Star Wars. Justin Long will plead for a real job. The MacWorld presentation will be cut short once all those white people buying Mac's will see that Apple has teamed with MacDonalds to create the new iPod, the 400 lb iFat. Bada bah bah bah, I'm lovin' it.
14. Several more white children will go missing causing Nancy Grace to hire a black and latino correspondent to verify the races of the children.
15. The new Democratically run Senate's first order of business will be to decide if Al Franken or Barney Frank will perform during Bear Week.
16. Halfway into the summer, people will begin to forget about the end of the world in 2012 because the movie 2012 will suck so bad.
17. Nostradamus and the Mayans will be discredited for the remainder of our existence because YOU CAN PREDICT EVERYTHING AND STILL GET SOMETHINGS WRONG!!!!
18. Eric Mangini will become the Browns head coach, making the Lions and Browns the only teams in the NFL not worth holding onto.
19. Miley Cyrus will have the most hilarious sexual scandal when people find her sleeping with the fat kid from Drake and Josh.
20. The Bash Brothers 3.0 will return to Oakland with the signing of Jason Giambi and Matt Holliday. Jason's entry music will be Jambi by Tool, but Matt's will be Holiday by Madonna.
21. (courtesy of James Bucknam) Pacman Jones will join the New England Patriots Defensive Squad, making him the Benedict Arnold character at the American Revolution play at Patriot Place.
22. Anderson Cooper will pull a 'Lara Logan' and have a child with an American soldier in Iraq, making him the second known man to give birth to a child.
23. The Red Sox will win the World Series, and Japan will celebrate by putting the Red Sox B on the national flag.
24. Ann Coulter will enjoy mass popularity when she is filmed at a KKK orgy being depicted as the centerpiece and when people find out she's a man from her new book "Dickless - Confessions of how Liberalism got the best of my former unit".
25. Zdeno Chara, David Ortiz, Rodney Harrison and Kevin Garnett will create the most popular fight club in New England. People will flock to it at first when they see that Heidi Watney barreling over Naoko "Hirohito" Funayama, but then leave instantly when they see Scott Zolak and Greg Dickerson almost kissing eachother.

That's enough for now, I think you must've at least smiled once during that thing.